It's been one of those days where the sky isn't quite sunny or overcast. Another cool day in July. For some reason, it had me brooding more than usual and feeling lost again in this fog of my life. Guess it reflects the glaring reality that my two-year hunt to find a niche to contribute to the world doesn't seem any nearer to ending. For someone who tries hard to put her entire heart into everything she does, this is a very wearisome way to live when barely any results show up.

Even now, I was curious enough to join the writing group on here only to find that the cut-off age is 24. It doesn't help to feel "old" as the idea of feeling useless veers up more and more. Ideas are always floating around in my head waiting to be birthed on screen or paper. It just helps to have a topic, a deadline, some recognition and well, frankly, some financial compensation ;).

Been thinking about the reality of life as a post-undegrad and feeling the pressure to head to grad school because of the limitations I keep facing in realizing my dreams (to work with refugees and immigrants on an international scale-e.g. UNHCR). *big sigh* Just seems like every promising lead I've grasped has only managed to slip right through my fingers and disappear forever before I could barely enjoy the idea.

I'm expecting something to happen soon.... It'd be enough to at least know which country I can settle down in for at least the next year or two!!! It's a challenge to be carrying out two types of currency as it is while living out of a suitcase and camping on all my friends' and family's living room couches!

Compared to what others experience daily, however, I know I really shouldn't complain....